Just Checking In

This post is gonna be filled with a lot of honesty, so if you can’t handle it just go away. 🙂

So here’s the honest, I have been pretty, very, super depressed lately. My life has seemed to be in utter chaos for quite a while now. LOTS of big life changes/challenges have been occurring one after another it seems and it has been very difficult for me to keep up… at all. Let alone keep up in a healthy way.

Spiritually, Emotionally and Physically I have been so tired and drained that I haven’t been able to do much for myself or for my family. I’ve been just existing. And I’ve been lucky to have a family that has continued to support and love me. It has been good to be able to have people that I can be sad with and not have to explain everything. Cuz it’s not like I can explain it, that’s kinda what depression does, it sneaks up and makes you feel like everything you were hoping for and every goal you’ve been working for is wrong. Like you’ve been going the wrong direction for months, years or eve your whole life.

But today something changed, just a little tiny bit, today I almost felt like myself again. I am still tired. I am still exhausted and drained. But I actually had some brain power, some mental energy that almost made me feel like me. My inner voice had something to say – and I felt like if I didn’t grab a pen or a keyboard to get some of it down, it might go away again.

Today it wanted to say – I’m still here and even though I’ve been quiet, I’m gonna be ok.